We create and maintain multiple social relationships in our lives.
Through time, these relationships grow and become the foundation of our daily living: Family, friends, co-workers, and romantic partners.
There are a lot of stories where friends become romantic partners.
John Gottman, author, professor, and relationship expert, says:
“Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship, which is the core of a strong marriage. A high-quality friendship in a marriage is an important predictor in romantic and physical satisfaction.”
However, experts also believe that calling your romantic partner your “best friend” may not suit your relationship.
According to Carrie Krawiec, LMFT, a marriage, and family therapist of Birmingham Maple clinic, spouses should not mistake their partners as their best friends. Confusing or overlapping the two relations – as friends and spouses – can pose problems, especially when a man or woman expects their partners to treat them as friends.
For example, a spouse questioning their partner’s career decision may be deemed a lack of support.
On the other hand, another research says that men who think of their wives as best friends are twice as likely to have high satisfaction in their marriage. Having constant emotional support prevents their relationship from going on a dip.
While some have successful marriages submit to the idea that they “married their best friend,” most women still search for that warmth and companion from their circle of friends.
A study shows that women are most likely closer to their pals than their partners.
Champneys conducted a survey among women, and more than 50% of the respondents prefer their circle of friends as their soulmates, and they feel closer to them than their husbands.
The survey also asked for their reasons why they say so.
Most of the women agreed that they find it easier to talk to their friends than their husbands. They feel like they can talk to their friends about everything and that they tend to listen more. They also share with their friends about things they don’t tell their partners.
Another notable finding in the survey is that 39% of them have a better time with friends.
They laugh all the time, and they have much more in common. They also stated that their friends give better advice, have a better sense of humor, and are less irritating than their husbands.
So, what does this tell us?
The different relationships we have play different roles in our lives. They each serve a unique purpose, and not one of them is a fit-all for all our emotional, psychological, physical, and mental support.
Our families, friends, and spouses make us all happy and content in their unique ways.
While there will always be an intersection of their roles, and while other relationships fill the gap where there is a lack, they are all equally important.
If this study proved anything, it is this –
Married couples should talk and spend more time together. Try to re-evaluate your role in each other’s lives. Set the boundaries between what you must expect from each other so you will not feel so unsatisfied with your relationship.
As for the husbands out there?
Listen. Give time. Remember what brought you two together in the first place. If you go back to the why’s, you’ll find a deeper, more intimate relationship with your wife. Lastly, know that she will need her friends from time to time.
Allow yourself to give her that space.
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